Does God Care About Tiny Details?
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” - Romans 8:28 (ESV)
Six months after getting married, we miscarried our first baby. It was devastating and unexpected. Almost as unexpected as the pregnancy in the first place. We weren’t sure when we were going to start a family, but that first positive pregnancy test had us head over heels in love with that little gummy bear growing in my belly. We were parents!
Until we weren’t anymore.
The loss began almost as soon as we started celebrating. I was confused. We hadn’t yet asked God for a baby. So why had He given us one and then ripped it away the next moment? I kept hoping if I sat down with my legs crossed tight, I could stop the bleeding. I wondered how it was possible to want something so bad when it had been the furthest thing from my mind just weeks prior.
Despite all our prayers, large progesterone pills and bed rest, we lost our baby. My parents flew out to visit the next week, and my dad walked through the door of our small apartment carrying an enormous green plant.
“It’s a peace lily,” he said, as he set it down near a large window. “It will grow big, beautiful, white flowers soon.”
I took care of that plant in some effort to prove to God I would be a good mother. This plant baby would not die, I promised. I watered it, took it outside for some direct sun, opened the blinds it sat in front of every morning, and then I closed them each night. I dusted its leaves and did everything short of singing lullabies to it.
Yet, it never bloomed.
I was promised big, beautiful, white flowers, and every morning, the plant remained void of blooms. I was failing once again at bringing life into the world.
My dad called often. “To check up on the plant,” he would say, but now I realize he needed a reason to check up on his little girl. “Still no blooms,” I would respond.
Months later, I found myself holding another positive pregnancy test. Feelings of fear followed immediately. We’re probably going to lose this baby, too. I was sure that was the story God was building for us — one of pain and loss and disappointment. I begged Him to make this pregnancy stick and held my breath every time I went to the bathroom.
One morning, after turning the corner from the kitchen into our living room, my eyes landed on the peace lily plant near our window.
Something caught my eye. A small white sliver peeked out from beneath the jungle of green leaves. I walked closer, dumbfounded. My fingers reached out to touch the silky-smooth petal bursting through the green wrapping of the stem. It was blooming! My peace lily was finally flowering!
It was a whisper from God. A small sign that He saw my anxious thoughts and wanted me to be at peace. His plan is good. It is always good. It was good all along. A visual reminder of Romans 8:28, which says: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” I know God doesn’t always answer our prayers in exactly the way we hope, but He does always answer them.
I took a deep breath. It was time to relax and enjoy the beginnings of our new life as parents.
Nine months later, we brought Jonah (meaning “dove — a sign of peace”) home from the hospital and introduced him to the peace lily, flowers now standing tall above the leaves.
“God’s got us, buddy,” I whispered into his squishy cheeks while he slept on my chest. In that moment, I felt seen by a big God who cares about tiny details.
God, thank You for always being good. Thank You for seeing and caring about the small moments in our lives and sending signs and whispers that You are near. Thank You for the promise that You work all things together for the good of those who love You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.